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Ten Words or Less Review – Stupid yes, but not the eye rape many implied.

Once a year or so a movie comes along that gets panned so hard, offends the sensibilities of so many delicate film goers and flops so hard, I simply must see for myself.  Last year critics took the woefully misunderstood “Speed Racer” out into the middle of the street and threw it under a bus.  This year the same thing happened to “Land of the Lost.”  I thought “Speed Racer” was a trip.  A visual mind warp of epic proportions, that while unarguably dopey in places, still wowed and showed genuine heart in the process.  I was wondering if “Land of the Lost” would play out the same.  Could it really be a weirdo piece of pop art that got advertised as a kiddie film and summarily executed like some suggested?  No.

“Land of the Lost” is pretty weird in places and it certainly has moments of a drug fuelled sense of humor about it, but after some chuckles found in the first half hour it falls into an odd place of cinematic nothingness, rounded out with a fair amount of stupidity.  Advertising this as family fare was a giant ass of an idea.  Aside from watching dinosaurs and monsters running around, there’s not much kid friendly material.  Most of the jokes fall into the sex and bodily fluid camp.  The movie has the sparsest of plots to run on so it’s up to the gags to sustain the thing.  Those work swiftly at first but slowly they start to go stale.  It never becomes the rancid, flaccid, foul pile of shit many labeled it as.  At its core it strives to be an idiosyncratic, oddball comedy, but it can’t get there.  It inhabits that clunky place where special effects and humor run head first into one another and accomplish nothing but self annihilation.  You’re left with a dull paste of a movie that doesn’t taste good or bad, just blah.  And those poor souls who wanted a real “Land of the Lost” movie should probably not even look.  Watching this one has a clear idea that Farrell and director Brad Siberling are using the property for their own ends.  Whatever the original show was, they likely don’t care one bit.

Will Farrell does his Will Farrell thing without missing a beat.  That may be part of the problem as well.  His over-confident man boy shtick has more than run its course.  Instead of doing anything new with it here he plays it like he always does.  I didn’t like this persona six years ago and age has not endeared it to me.  A few clever bits aside this likely won’t change your established opinion of Farrell for better or worse.  Farrell discovery Danny McBride gets a few laughs as some trailer trash along for the ride.  And there was a hot chick with them whose name escapes me.  I don’t feel like looking it up.  She was the plucky eye candy.

“Land of the Lost” isn’t going to hurt or offend anyone, except maybe some sensitive parent types who think it’s supposed to be a G-rated adventure film, and probably people who liked the show.  By the time the adventurers have gotten wasted on native juice and watch a giant crab run toward them which then falls into scolding hot water thus boiling itself and then they eat it, they should have long ago figured out something underhanded was up.  Not horrible, not great, but a stab a something different that didn’t quite work out.

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