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I hate movie previews.  I hate everything about them.  What used to be one of the best parts of going to the movies has become so insufferable I will often wait outside the theater for them to end before I go find a seat.  My recent trip to see “Avatar” contained not 2 or 3 loud and bombastic clips from future films, but 6, each one louder and more oversold than the next.  “Prince of Persia?”  Looked excrusiating.  “Book of Eli?”  Run of the mill, stoic badass bullshit.  “Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief?”  Shameless Harry Potter clone.  “Another Damn Shrek Movie?”  You’d have to staple my eyes open and bolt me to a theater chair.  There were more but what they were has been lost.  Mercy was shown as “Sherlock Holmes” was not played.  The experience was so bombastic and tired that I eventually just tucked my head in my jacket and waited for things to stop going boom. 

This has become the pre-movie experience.  The techniques that developed over the course of the 90’s have fossilized into a granite slab that will have to be blown to bits if it’s ever to change.  Creativity and originality are gone from the equation and in their place are the same edited beats that give each preview after the other the sensation of being the exact same film.  Faux wonder, dramatic pauses, baratone narration, editing chaos that simulates actual action.  Blech to all of it.  Don ‘In Another World’ LaFontaine may be dead but his legacy will live on.


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