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The Girl Who Played With FireWhatever hypnotic or intense quality the late author Steig Larsson possessed in his prose translates ineptly to the screen in this second feature adapted from his work.  While the first movie adaptation of his Millennium trilogy, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, held a fair amount of intrigue and seemed made with skill, the second feature falls on its turgid face.  Suspenseless and uninteresting throughout, the cast and crew fumble around trying to find a narrative and never do.  It’s a shaggy dog murder mystery in which nothing of consequence transpires until the final 10 minutes.  If the producers of the American remake have their wits about them they will watch this interpretation as a lesson in what not to do.  The third film in the series has already hit art house screens and will likely see home video shortly.  I don’t see myself taking the effort to finish out this trilogy.


Due DateDue Date stinks.  I wish I had more poetry and humor in my soul to express this sentiment with flair, but even if I did I would feel as if I was wasting it on this piece of shit.  The producers of this thing saw an opportunity to put two hot names in a movie together and seized it.  What they forgot to do is construct any compelling reason for it to happen.  Downey + Galifanakis + road movie = hit.  The thinking never went past that.  Downey escapes with his dignity intact but it’s Galifanakis who grates on the soul.  He’s a toxic idiot and spending time with him is as torturous for us as it is for Downey.  His antics aren’t just annoying, they’re painful and completely beyond any kind of believable behavior, even idiotic behavior.  He’s a clueless alien who could no more navigate the human landscape anymore than I could grow wings out of my ass and fly.  I’m officially joining the Galifanakis haters club.  Where’s my membership card?

House – Mondo bizarro Japanese horror flick from the late 70’s.  It’s either a work of unparalleled brilliance or just a bunch of retards going nuts with cameras.  I’m leaning towards the later.  Gimmicky, nonsensical schlockiness isn’t my taste and this flick couldn’t be less my thing.  I thought it was a strange sort of torture to sit through but fans of whacked out horror pieces will probably love it.




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