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Ten Word or Less Review: A shot glass full of barf.
The movie equivilent of a bucket full of vomit being thrown all over you, Hobo With a Shotgun is an example of selling a shit movie with a catchy title that thrills folks with the idea of an avenging homeless guy dispensing justice with his pump action death dispenser.  Rutger Hauer comes out of storage to play the nameless hobo, a boxcar rider who finds himself in a town with no justice, only violent criminals who kill and mane in gory ways.  Fans of arterial spray will be thrilled.  Hobo may be a throwback exploitation piece but more specifically it’s an ode to all things Troma.  The no budget studio that specialized in garbage like The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke’m High, paying homage to Troma is on par with trying to write poetry about fresh roadkill.  Sure you can do it, but why would you want to?
Hobo spends its excruciating 90 minute run time showering you with blood and puke and expects you to be thankful for the experience.  The so-called humor running through it is like sitting in a bar next to a drunk guy who thinks telling you a bad joke as loud as possible somehow makes it funny.  Then when he manically laughs at his own flat punchline he notices you not laughing so he tells the joke over.  For an hour.  Getting progressively louder each time he tells it.  I’m not saying charbroiling a school bus full of kids with a flame thrower can’t be funny, sure it can, but here it isn’t.
It’s a damnshame to watch the once great Hauer languish in this grotesque crap.  He’s certainly a game performer here, chewing up and spitting out his purple dialogue for all it’s worth, even trying to put small moments of pathos where he can, but there’s just no competing the buckets of blood, severed limbs and wretched acting flying across the screen.  His fellow performers turn in uniformly painful work.  I have no idea who these actors are but all I can hope is that I never see them again in anything more significant than a commercial for frozen burritos.
At it’s best Hobo With A Shotgun is annoying but most of the time it is excruciating to a high degree.  Fans of splatterfest gross out flicks will love it.  Many have already championed it as some kind of cracked masterpiece but I’m here to remind people that just because you put a frame around a pile of shit doesn’t make it a work of art worth looking at.  It’s still just a pile of shit.

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