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21 Jump Street – It’s really just a remake up Superbad with guns.   Honah Jill and Tanning Chatum update a long forgotten 80’s TV show, one which eventually lead to Johnny Depp being so rich he could beat God in a thumb wrestling contest.  Somewhere Richard Grieco is crying salty tears into his ramen noodle dinner, eviction notice in clinched fist, as a hateful Korean couple argue in the apartment next door.  As he puts down the fork of .97 cent nuked pasta and picks up the revolver that he holds to his temple every night he quietly whispers to himself, ‘Why did I do If Looks Could Kill?’  Anyway, this mildly amusing action vehicle seemed to entertain most.  It has a chuckle here and there but it often forgets that it’s a movie.  I suggest that when the sequel happens they hire Michael Cera as the Mexican drug kingpen.

Wrath of the Titans – Clash of the Titans was a hit film everyone hated, even the people who made it.  It’s one of those regretfully successful, piece of shit blockbusters that even your emotionally warped, animal torturing cousin didn’t like.  He put his head in a shoe box and went to his happy place instead of finishing it.  All the same it made so much money Warner Brothers assumed people wanted more.  Dipshits.  This actually is an improvement on things.  A mercifully thread thin plot is pumped up with enough CGI bombast that no one should notice how anorexic it all is.  It has sequences of decently executed action scenes where Sam Worthington waits for James Cameron to call him and tell him Avatar 2 starts filming next week.  I think I fell asleep for 10 minutes or so in the middle but when I woke up everyone appeared to be doing the same thing they were before I nodded off.  The ending seemed appropriately flashy as a giant lava monster the size of a mountain tries to talk Liam Neeson into doing movies not like this.  Neeson shows it Battleship and it dies an agonizing death.


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