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Numbers Game – An Accounting Of That Which You Can’t Make Me Watch

This blog has been exclusively dedicated to observing, appreciating and/or bemoaning that which I have seen.  Here’s an accounting of that which I haven’t.*

0 – Kate Hudson movies I’ve seen since Almost Famous was released 12 years ago and she was supposed to amount to something.

0 – Ashton Kutcher movies I’ve seen.  Who the fuck watches Ashton Kutcher movies?

0 – Number of Saw, Hostel, Step Up, Paranormal Activity and Underworld movies I’ve seen.  Also go ahead and include Madagascar and Diary of A Wimpy Kid so the kiddies don’t feel excluded.

0 – For you old school folks I’ve never seen a Hellraiser movie

1/2 – Movies with Amanda Seyfried I’ve seen.  Half of Mama Mia is all I’ve managed.

1 – Resident Evil movie out of 5

1 – Texas Chainsaw Massacre flick out of 6

1 – American Pie movie out of 7

3 – Number of Friday the 13th movies I’ve seen out of 12 (Part 1, Jason X, F vs. J).  Don’t like any of them.

4 – Movies in the Halloween franchise I’ve seen out of possible 10.  Parts 1-3 and H20.  I still only like the first.

4 – Movies in the Nightmare on Elm St. franchise I’ve seen out of possible 9.

7 – Movies based on video games I’ve seen out of 28 possibilities.

8 – Dreamworks cartoon flicks I’ve seen out out of possible 24.  Though I can barely remember anything about those 8.  What the Hell was The Road to El Dorado and when did I see it?

15 – Nicholas Cage movies since 1999 I didn’t bother with.  How can a man work so often and own the IRS so much?

15 – Martin Lawrence movies I wouldn’t watch if you threatened me with death.  Pretty much his entire career.

15 – Eddie Murphy disasters since his ‘come back’ in 1996.

18 – Adam Sandler starring vehicles I haven’t seen starting with Wedding Singer.

28 – Movies starring Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller or Vince Vaughn I passed on seeing.

29 – Movies starring J. Lo, Cameron Diaz or Reese Witherspoon I skipped.

Do I even have to mention Rob Schneider?

*I don’t account for voice acting or walk on cameos.  The list would be endless.


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